it's hitting me that my vacation is going to come to an end.
it sort of feels like that one time that i realized that death
was eminent.
then i got scared
then i went on living life again
eh.
---
i realized that i am constantly in this weird mood.
maybe cos something is causing it.
actually no,
i know something is causing it.
---
so the other day i went to shanghai.
to my delight i discover this awkwardness that looms over the entire trip. some feeling of guilt of me being a tourist supposedly enjoyin' the scenery and things but rather taking in the people, their life, why they are there, and if ever, they can get away like i did.
stagnant i felt. it was awkward because there was this seemingly push for economic development and progression, yet the people were far behind the buildings.
---
on a lighter note, dragons, incense, lamps, and nice people make me smile.
conversations are getting better i must say.
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