someone who balances me. complements me. finishes my sentences. knows that i like small suprises. knows that i internalize things. knows that i will never make the first move. nor the first effort. knows that i hate bothering people. knows that i hate asking for favors because i can always fucking do it myself but i really can't. completes me. entertains me. lightens me. makes me smile even when they don't mean to. likes what i like. has beautiful hair. able to go places with me. able to keep me from being so lonely. but i know ur not here. yet.
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people in my life have given me things. i just don't how to take it. ///
always feeling a misplacement in my life because i am so embarrassed about myself. always feeling this sense of hesitation because of social restrictions that i still feel. never being able to step out of my comfort zone although i feel so uncomfortable staying within it. people "know" me too much. people have perceptions of me and i can't escape it. i hate this reoccurring feeling. i detest the questions, the shocked looks, the eye ballings, and that thought they have in their head like wtf. you have perceptions and once someone steps out of it its not allowed nor is it accepted. its highschool again and i just need to get away.
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i went in feeling that i was going to find myself. and now i am more than lost. im just gone.
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