sometimes

my ideas seem to collapse
when I wander about
when will I fall again?
collapse fall trip stand heal

he told her,
simply so.
because he couldn't hold it in anymore.
so i cried at the thought that it could happen.
i've never been told that because
I didn't allow it to happen.

but I suppose the asked
question, purports
my concerns are of the occurrence
more than aftermath
creators of our own destiny
causers of our own
creators causers starters makers
dreamers visionaries
mixed with destroyers
leave it to fate types.

but maybe my question is indicative
of many things
that I still don't know how to open up
to allow it to happen

---

sometimes I am overwhelmed 
with the thought that I spend
24/7
with myself.


---


catch this:


falling into rice paddies, camera taking, developing, surprised, hug friends eat with friends say bye to friends meet friends talk to friends talk learn how to talk wait for you break fall inside sit on the opera steps you look like a swimmer you dance like a cartoon she dropped out because kids at school are making fun of her we are poor we are just so poor wood listening collapse cultivation empowerment being weak being strong making things happen finding myself art art art no art nothing carpel tunnel computer stare blank halted beats marginalization of self inability to see our abilities art therapy help others see the best in themselves inability to focus focus focus why can't I focus