my daily conversations

occasionally upsets me.
and when i hear the perpetuation of stereotypes/ the use of derogatory asian words. i shudder.
and get mad.
and then i confront it and there are those who think that their minor perputuation is like nothing, that it no longer matters.
then what else doesn't matter?

call me a chink and forget the back breaking labor of chinese immigrants for those damn railroads, and that all they got in return is pain. forget the fucking racism that they faced the exclusion, the isolation, the alienation that has yet to leave us and has been imbedded in the social institutions that surround us. Forget about the policies that still treat us as foreign. forget the negative connotation that WILL remain connected to it and every damn stereotype that is connected Asian. let others perceive you for something that you are not. let's make this personal. forget every damn racist term that was every said to me, that was ever conceived when someone looked at me, forget about peoples misconceptions of me that i begin to believe when i was young, that as asians we are inherently smart that we are timid and that we all know fucking karate and speak chinese fluently, and that we are all foreign , the shame that i felt when my mom couldn't buy me the things that i wanted only because she was working 9 to 5 in a garment factory sewing the 1000 pieces of spagetti straps to damn forever 21 clothes. just so me and my brother could have a happy life and a beautiful home to live in.

call me a f.o.b. and overlook the fact that hundreds/ thousands of mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters uncles and aunts died just trying to cross over the ocean in a small ass cardboard brittle boat just to have achieve freedom, opportunities, a better life. just to escape death just to encounter it again. place yourself in two weeks on a boat more or less the size of a small car with more people that it can carry, disease ridden, people dying around you, forget about the fact that my dad has yet to see his sister for over 20 years and never has gotten to go back. forget about the fact that my dad went over in his twenties with two of 12 siblings on a small ass boat only to have to come to america to take on minimum wage jobs.

tell me that you don't care because your apathetic and then flush that college priviledge that you have down the drain and make it useless. forget about the youth who have no guidance in their lives because their parents have to work 24-7 and all it takes is a few hours of your week just to change THEIR LIFE. forget about the fucked up shit that is going around us because of the policies and laws that are implemented by our wonderful congress and congressmen from fucking random states that don't understand the struggles no matter what they say because when you look at their bank accounts you can't find where the digits end just like my mom laying there when she was young in her bed and wondering when the violence, the bullets, the bombs are going to stop and when that will end.

and i thank God everyday because i am just so DAMN LUCKY to complain about books, my clothes, my 12 dollar an hour workstudy job and other worthless things that just don't even matter when you think about it.

fuck stereotypes and derogratory terms . for those who can even apallingly and disgustingly JUSTIFY using those words because
1. it doesn't mean anything
2. its fun to say
3. or you just don't give a shit.

check yourself

think again, and really think what happens when you say it.

forgeting the past
overlooking the struggles
and contributing to the oppression.